Mind & Body

My brother and her friends and I were very hands-on in creating the day. We had a wonderful ceremony in a thatched barn, friends made and painted her coffin,and we had a woodland burial with a hawthorn tree planted on her grave. It was as mum would have wanted it to be. I was so struck by how immensely helpful and meaningful it had been for us all that I then trained as an undertaker. I wanted to work creatively with families to empower them to pay tribute to their loved ones with their own skills.

Good-bye Rituals

I feel that funerals and good-bye rituals are an incredibly important part of a healthy grieving process. Funeral ceremonies can be very spiritual occasions even for those that wouldn't normally consider themselves very 'spiritual'. They are also community occasions when people are recognised in their community as grieving and in need of extra support. A 'good' funeral is a very powerful healing public event. By a 'good' funeral, I mean an appropriate tribute that reflects the values and lifestyle of the deceased and which meets the emotional needs of those left.

Many families now are aware of their environmental impact on the Earth. If someone has done all that they can in life to be environmentally friendly then of course that should be reflected in their final farewell. There have been concerns about heavy metal emissions created by crematoriums (surprisingly from fillings in people’s teeth). Crematoriums have been told that they need to make changes by 2012, some have already (A green funeral director can advise on which ones have decreased their emissions).

Natural burial has increasingly become a popular choice in the UK. There are now 158 sites and 45 in planning stages. These sites are managed to promote flora and fauna - if they have marker stones then they are horizontal and made from natural local stone.

Fair Trade Coffins

Many bereaved families find that a burial with nature is soothing as it reminds them that death is a natural part of the greater life cycle and because these sites are natural there is no need for regular maintenance for families that live far away. These natural cemeteries usually require a bio degradable coffin made from willow, cardboard, bamboo, sea grass or even woven pineapple leaves. There are lots of different coffins available now including Fair Trade coffins.

We find families like them because of their aesthetics as well as the fact that they're environmentally friendly, and cardboard is a good base for painting and personalising.

If your local funeral director can't get hold of an unusual coffin, they can be bought on-line and delivered the next day. It is also possible to have a burial on a piece of private land.

Other ways that funerals are changing is the choice of venue. Funeral ceremonies don't have to be in places of worship or crematoriums. A church isn't in keeping with everyone's beliefs. Funeral ceremonies can be in many different locations a venue doesn't have to be licensed for the service/ceremony. Therefore a venue can be chosen for its appropriateness. Maybe somewhere grand like a stately home or hotel function room for one kind of person; or somewhere informal such as a barn in the countryside for a different kind of individual.

Moving and Creative

I arranged a beautiful funeral with granddad in his favorite old cardigan with him placed in a sleeping position in a basket coffin. The farewell was in his beloved garden, his grandchildren painted pictures during the service which were placed in his coffin, then he himself was 'planted' in a woodland cemetery.

Another lady had taught and been passionate about music. We had her farewell in her home, her coffin placed by her grand piano, her family played their instruments as a last tribute. It was really moving.

Families/communities that have done this have had the opportunity to spend more time together and share memories. Some have decorated spaces with photos and mementos. They can have live music, doves can be released, toasts in a favored beverage, a tribute hillside ramble, planting of a tree, group meditation....people have the opportunity to pay tribute in so many creative ways in these kinds of spaces.

Funerals can be as individual as the person that they are arranged for. A good farewell will be full of love and pride and even hope, no matter what our faith, to help us find meaning in our loss.

More Information
Please contact Rosie Grant of Natural Endings:
www.naturalendings.co.uk